A Therapy Duo: How DBT and IFS work hand-in-hand

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions ?— whether it’s anxiety spiralling out of control, self-criticism taking over, or the urge to shut down completely, managing emotions can feel like an uphill battle.

DBT (Dialectal Behaviour Therapy) and IFS (Internal Family Systems) are two approaches that offer different, but complementary ways to navigate emotional struggles. 

At first glance, DBT and IFS might seem like they are complete opposites. DBT is highly structured, providing practical skills to regulate emotions, tolerate distress, and stay present. It’s all about learning tools to manage emotions in the moment—kind of like having a survival kit for your mind when things get tough. 

On the other hand, IFS takes an open, exploratory approach. It delves deep into understanding where emotions are coming from. IFS connects with the different aspects of ourselves that are activated in different situations and works on building compassionate relationships with them. Rather than trying to push away anxiety, procrastination, or self-criticism, IFS encourages curiosity.

So, how do these two therapies work together?

DBT provides the stability needed to handle intense emotions without getting lost in them, while IFS helps you heal the underlying patterns that keep those emotions returning. When combined, they create a powerful pathway to emotional regulation, self-awareness, and deeper healing. 

1. Emotional Regulation – DBT Builds Stability & IFS Deepens Understanding

We’ve all had moments where emotions feel too intense—whether it’s anxiety before a big event, anger after a conflict, or sadness that won’t seem to go away. In those moments, it can feel impossible to function. 

What DBT Does:

DBT helps regulate emotions by providing structured tools, including: 

• Distress tolerance skills to help ride out emotional waves without reacting impulsively. 

• Emotion regulation techniques like self-soothing to shift emotional states. 

• Mindfulness strategies to stay present and avoid getting overwhelmed by emotions. 

  
  

These tools create stability and help individuals feel more in control of their emotions. However, for many, emotions continue to resurface despite these strategies, this is where IFS can help. 

How IFS Adds to DBT:

Instead of just focusing on managing emotions, IFS explores why they feel overwhelming in the first place. It helps uncover and work with different protective parts of the psyche that may resist regulation, such as: 

• The Inner Critic: “You’re being too emotional. Get over it.” 

• The Perfectionist: “You can’t fall apart. Keep it together.” 

• The Overthinker: “What if something bad happens?” 

Rather than trying to suppress or fight these parts, IFS encourages curiosity and self-compassion. By building a relationship with these inner parts, emotional regulation becomes more than just a skill—it becomes a deeper understanding of the self. 

2. Distress Tolerance – DBT helps in the moment & IFS addresses the root 

When distress feels unbearable, coping strategies can make a huge difference. DBT focuses on immediate relief, while IFS helps address the deeper reasons distress keeps returning. 

What DBT Does: 

DBT provides crisis survival strategies to help manage overwhelming emotions, including: 

• TIP skills (temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing) to quickly bring down emotional intensity. 

• Radical acceptance to acknowledge reality without resistance. 

• Distraction and self-soothing techniques to avoid impulsive reactions and destructive behaviours. 

These tools offer immediate ways to regulate distress, but they don’t always address the root of why certain situations trigger such intense emotions. 

How IFS Adds to DBT: 

IFS helps identify the parts that struggle with distress tolerance, such as: 

• A shutdown part that wants to numb out or disappear. 

• A self-sabotaging part that believes distress is too painful to endure. 

• A people-pleasing part that tries to fix everything for others to avoid discomfort. 

Rather than just tolerating distress, IFS encourages listening to these parts with curiosity. What are they afraid of? What unmet needs are they trying to protect?

This approach moves beyond coping to deeper integration and healing. 

3. Mindfulness & Self-Compassion – DBT’s Awareness vs. IFS’s Inner Healing

Mindfulness is a key component of both DBT and IFS, but each approach uses it differently. 

What DBT Does:

DBT teaches mindfulness as a way to: 

• Increase awareness of emotions and thoughts without judgment. 

• Create distance from overwhelming emotions rather than getting consumed by them. 

• Practice non-attachment, recognizing that emotions come and go. 

Mindfulness in DBT allows individuals to observe their emotions from a neutral perspective, making it easier to manage reactions. 

How IFS Adds to DBT:

IFS takes mindfulness a step further by helping individuals develop a relationship with their emotions. Instead of just observing them, IFS encourages: 

• Asking, “Who inside me is feeling this way?” 

• Identifying the needs and fears of different emotional parts. 

• Connecting with Self-energy, a state of compassion, calm, and clarity. 

Where DBT helps create emotional distance, IFS promotes emotional integration. The goal is not just to tolerate emotions but to truly understand and heal them. 

Here are 2 Ways to Use DBT Skills Before beginning IFS Work:

Before diving deep into IFS work, it’s important to create a sense of stability and safety. DBT skills can help regulate emotions so that you can engage with your internal world from a place of curiosity, instead of overwhelm.

1. Use Distress Tolerance (e.g., TIP Skills) to Stay Grounded

If you feel dysregulated or the present emotions are intense, it can be hard to connect with different parts of yourself, without getting overwhelmed. Before exploring IFS, try using: 

• Cold exposure (like splashing cold water on your face) to calm your nervous system. 

• Paced breathing to bring your body into a more regulated state. 

• Movement (shaking out tension) to release emotional energy. 

These techniques help you feel more grounded and present, making it easier to engage with your parts from a centred place rather than from reactivity. 

2. Use Radical Acceptance to Reduce Resistance 

One of the biggest barriers to IFS work is resistance—parts of you might feel hesitant to engage, afraid of what they might uncover. This is where DBT’s radical acceptance skill can be a game changer. 

• Instead of fighting against your emotions, acknowledge them as they are—even if they’re uncomfortable. 

• Remind yourself: This is what I’m feeling right now, and that’s okay. 

• Acceptance creates space for curiosity rather than avoidance, making IFS work more approachable. 

By using DBT’s practical tools, you create the emotional stability and openness needed to explore deeper healing through IFS.

DBT and IFS aren’t opposites—they complement each other perfectly.

While DBT provides the stability and emotional regulation needed to navigate daily life, IFS works with our internal word, offering deep healing and self-connection. The two together create a balanced approach: 

• DBT helps ground you in the present, so you don’t feel overwhelmed when exploring emotions. 

• IFS helps you understand and heal the deeper wounds that fuel emotional struggles. 

With both tools working together, you can build resilience while deepening self-awareness, creating a stronger, more compassionate connection with yourself.

At True Self Space, we specialise in helping you reconnect with your authentic self, heal emotional wounds, and rewrite outdated narratives.

✨ Follow us on Instagram at @TrueSelfSpace for daily insights, inspiration, and tips on inner healing.

🌐 Visit our website at TrueSelfSpace.com.au to learn more about IFS therapy and our approach.

Ready to take the next step? Book a session today!

Let’s connect—you’ve got this! 💛